Why did the Auschwitz shower heads have 12 holes? Because Jews have 10 fingers!!

Hitler: Tuday, Hitlerr is feeling generrouz. Tuday, Hitlerr is sending half of you home! Jews of the concentration camp: Heeee!!!!!!! (joy and happiness). Hitler: Hans, brring ze chainsaw!

What’s the difference between a ton of coal and a thousand Jews? Jews burn longer.

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It’s got ten seats inside.

Hitler and Goering were arguing about the Jews, Goering stating that they were quite clever people and Hitler vehemently denying they were any such thing.

Finally Goering told Hitler that they should go out in the city and Goering would show Hitler it was true. Hitler agreed, so they disguised themselves and went out on the street.

Goering took Hitler into a shop, went up to the counter, and asked the clerk: “Do you have any left-handed teacups?” The clerk stared at Goering for a moment and then said no, mein herr, I do not.

The two left with Hitler complaining that he did not understand what the point of this was and Goering telling him to be patient. They went to another shop and Goering gave the same act: “Do you have any left-handed teacups?” The clerk stared and shrugged his shoulders.

They left with Hitler becoming incensed over this nonsense and Goering begging for patience. Finally they went into a Jewish shop; Goering again asked the clerk: “Do you have any left-handed teacups?”

The clerk smiled graciously, went into the back room and made a show of rummaging around, brought out a saucer and teacup, set down the saucer, and carefully placed the cup with the handle pointed so Goering could pick it with his left hand. “There you are, mein herr!” the clerk said.

Goering bought the teacup, thanked the clerk, and the two men left. Goering turned to Hitler and said: “See, I told you the Jews were very clever people.”

“I don’t see what was so clever about that,” Hitler snapped. “He just happened to have one in stock!”

Question: Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans? Answer: They give them gas.

What’s the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?

1. The pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.
2. About $5.65
3. You take out the pizza. In one piece.

Regarding the question of how many Jews can be got into a Volkswagen Beetle, the idea was to provoke a rigorous, Revisionist analysis, devoid of emotional appeals and implausible “eye-witness” accounts, of the facts of the matter. For example, what is the internal volume of a Volkswagen Beetle? What is the cubic capacity of the ashes remaining after cremation of a human being, on average? Time for the Revisionist pocket calculator! And what of reports from some quarters that Volkswagen Beetles of certain vintages had no ashtray? Can our thesis survive this fundamental challenge? Time will tell.

Two Jewish children are sitting on top of a roof near a chimney. A passer-by asks, ‘What are you doing there?’ ‘We are waiting for our parents.’

What were Jews used for in connection with the 1936 Olympics? For the cindertrack and the Olympic flame.