Q. What does a Bransholme Girl put behind her ears to make herself attractive to men?
A. Her feet.

Q. What’s the difference between a Bransholme Girl and a supermarket trolley?
A. A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q. What does a Bransholme Girl say after sex?
A. Do you all play for the same team?

Q. How do you know when a Bransholme Girl has an orgasm?
A. She drops her chips.

Q. What’s the difference between a Bransholme Girl and a Kit Kat?
A. You only get four fingers in a Kit Kat.

Q. What’s the difference between a Bransholme Girl and an ironing board?
A. You have trouble opening the legs of an ironing board.

Q. What does a Bransholme Girl and a computer have in common?
A. You don’t appreciate them until they go down on you.

Q. What’s the difference between a Bransholme Girl and a walrus?
A. One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other lives in the sea.

Q. If Bransholme Girl has a job, why does she only have a short dinner break?
A. To avoid re-training.

Q. What’s the difference between a Bransholme Girl and a cream egg?
A. It only costs 24p to lick out a cream egg.

Q. How many Bransholme Girl’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. They only screw in cars.

Q. What does a Bransholme Girl do with her arsehole before sex?
A. She takes him down the pub and gets him pissed.

Q. How does a Bransholme Girl turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.

Q. What’s a Bransholme Girl’s idea of safe sex?
A. Keep the handbrake on.

Q. What’s the difference between a Bransholme Girl and the ship the Wilhelm Gustloff ?
A. Only 6,000 souls went down on the Wilhelm Gustloff.

Q. What does a Bransholme Girl use for protection when having sex?
A. A bus shelter.

Q. What’s the difference between a Bransholme Girl and a computer?
A. A computer only needs the information punching in once.

Q. What’s the difference between a Bransholme Girl and a 747?
A. There’s only one cockpit in a 747.