We apologise in advance to any Jewish person who is offended by our jokes, but bad things happen to everyone, and claiming that your suffering deserves some sort of pity to a level beyond the respect that catholic sainthood has given people is so fucking self-centered that it makes us sick. You are not special because you suffered. Can you say Salem Witch Trials? Did the witches get their own country after the church tried to exterminate them? Shut your self-serving mouths and get over it.

Question: What is the difference between a bar of soap and a Jew? Answer: A bar of soap doesn’t die after 45 seconds in the shower.

The answer to the question of how many Jews can you get in a Volkswagen Beetle is 1,004, two in the front, two in the back and 1,000 in the ashtrays :)

A Rabbi addresses a group of Jews in a Nazi concentration camp. The Rabbi says “My fellow Jews, I have some good news and some bad news: The good news is, we are all going to England... but the bad news is we are all going as lampshades!”

Former Czech wartime camp being used as site of porno film

By Magnus Bennett

PRAGUE – Czech Jewish leaders are shocked about reports that the former wartime transit camp of Terezin is being used to shoot scenes for a pornographic film.

The Czech tabloid Super reported Saturday that the film, starring top Czech porn star Robert Rosenberg, is set at the end of World War II and will tell the story of how women at the camp were raped by Nazis.

The paper, which printed the story with a collage of a semi-naked woman posing in front of a picture of Terezin, said the film’s working title is “How It Was.”

Rosenberg, 27, was quoted in Super as saying that the main plot will revolve around Terezin but there will be no erotic scenes shot inside the former camp, which was also known as Theresienstadt.

“Terezin will not have anything to do with erotica, we don’t want to treat the victims of the war with disrespect,” he told the newspaper.

But Jan Munk, director of the Terezin Memorial, said he was outraged by the idea that Terezin could be used as a backdrop for a porn film.

“It’s a scandal,” he said. “I understand the film is hard-core pornography, and we are extremely unhappy about this.”

Munk said there may be problem in taking the filmmakers to court, however.

“We will be looking into the legal position, but it may be very difficult to make a case if they are just using pictures of Terezin and mixing them into the film,” he said.

Tomas Jelinek, chairman of Prague’s Jewish community, also joined in the condemnation.

“This is unbelievable, given the significance that Terezin has for the Jewish people. It gives” the former camp a “completely different connotation to what it should have,” he said.

Newsstands in the town of Terezin were said to be busy as people lined up to read the story. The overwhelming reaction was one of disgust.

“When I read that they were making a porn film using Terezin, I felt sick in the pit of my stomach,” Prague schoolteacher Jana Stolova told JTA.

Rosenberg was unavailable for comment Sunday, but the mayor of Terezin, Ruzena Cechova, has said she plans to contact the police to ascertain whether any laws have been broken.

This is the second scandal surrounding Terezin to hit the headlines in the past year.

In February 2001, a German entrepreneur angered Jewish circles by offering families cheap trips to a shooting range next to Terezin. Czech-born hotel owner Rudolf Potucek used the Internet to advertise trips from his hotel in the town of Litomerice to a range on the outskirts of the former ghetto.

Jewish Telegraphic Agency, 24 March 2002

How many Jews can you get into a Volkswagen Beetle? Does anyone know the correct figure?

The scene is a bar in Berlin in January 1933, filled with Nazis. Goering is skulling stiens of beer with the brownshirts, Goebbels is sipping cocktails with a couple of groupies and Hitler is seated with a wild-eyed Hess discussing pupil diagnostics.

An American journalist enters, sees the full crew and realizes he’s sitting on the scoop of the century. He asks the barman: “Which one shall I ask for the absolute bottom line on the Nazi plans?” “Goebbels, of course” answers the barman, “He knows everything.” The journalist approaches and says “I want the bottom line on what this Nazi thing is.” Goebbels flashes him a smile and says “We intend to kill six million Jews and one postman.” The journalist’s mind races. “But why do you want to kill one postman?” Goebbels shouts over to Hitler: “See Adolf, I told you no-one gives a fig about the Jews!”